


A Field of Goats

by DarkJediQueen



Series: Fluff Bingo 2019 [8]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff, Fluff Bingo, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 06:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19806712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkJediQueen/pseuds/DarkJediQueen
Summary: Q wasn't sure what he was going to see when the camera turned back on, but this was not it.





	A Field of Goats

**Author's Note:**

> **Year** : Post-Skyfall  
>  **Spoilers** : Up Through Skyfall  
>  **Notes** : Prompts come from the Just Write Discord Server's 2019 Fluff Bingo challenge.  
>  **Beta** : Grammarly

"Bond. Fire," Q ordered over the comms. Q had lost visual on his lover two hours before, and the only thing left was spotty audio. There was someone who was going to get an earful from Q on the maintenance of the British satellites that were there that they were using to track this mission. There was no reason that the video should be gone. 

Q moved to the second computer that he was working on, hacking the system of the satellite to see what was going on with it.

"I'm sorry Q. I can't do that." The connection cut and Q looked to see that it was started at James' end. Q huffed and turned his full attention to the screen of his computer as he upped his hack of the satellite. 

"How goes it?" Tanner asked from behind Q. 

"The satellite lost picture on Bond two hours ago and Q's working on hacking it to fix it or blow it up. Bond just cut comms after telling Q that he refused to fire. He has the terrorists under the scope of the precision rocket launcher that Q sent him out with. Surgical strike instead of broad weapons fire spray and pray type."

"So not good." Tanner's voice didn't sound like it was too close, so he had chosen to stay back. 

"No. Not good at all. He's going to go on a right tear as soon as he figures out what is up with the satellite. Though I think that he's keeping track of what he's said out loud to repeat to whoever maintains it."

Q pushed their conversation out of his head and finally cracked the video should wall that was stopping him from seeing what was going on inside of the satellite. He found that some idiot had set it to download the newest update while it was in the middle of a mission. It had been set to do it after the request had been put in for MI6 to use it. That meant that someone wasn't paying attention. Q figured out what user did it and then corrupted the download of the new update so that full working order would happen and it would kick back to download again in two hours. By then, Q would be done with it, and someone was going to get into a lot of shit. Q took a minute to type out an email to Mallory that would serve has his notice of what he had done and what he was getting ready to do unless M wanted to step in a do it. 

It would take the cameras another ten minutes to cycle back up. Q worked on turning James' comm back on. He was going to give the man a good bit of yelling when he came back on the comms, whether that was at Q's hand or his own. 

"Sir..." R said from behind him, and Q ignored her. He didn't care about whatever she was saying. 

"Are those goats?" someone else said. 

Q looked up at the monitor that was on the wall that was showing where James was, and he did indeed see James sitting in the middle of what looked like a field full of goats. Baby goats at that. One of them was a rock behind James and given the way that its mouth was moving it was bleating at James. A few of the goats were covered in blood, but they were moving without issue. The terrorists were all dead on the ground. 

"I want a sweep of life signs. Make sure that none of the goats is harmed. If they are, we will pay whoever owns them."

James moved quickly, shooting forward and then a few of the goats seemed to freeze in place and topple over. James had found a grouping of goats, baby fainting goats. 

"That explains why Bond didn't want to fire the rocket, Sir," one of the techs said. 

"I'm well aware. He should have just said the risk of casualties was too high." Q manipulated a few of the modes to where it was recording this whole damned thing and sending it to his email. He needed blackmail on his lover, and this would work perfectly. After a few more minutes of James calming down the goats, he started to check over all of the ones that were covered in blood but as Q's techs chimed in it seemed that it was not all the blood of the goats. 

"-Q would really hate me if I had told him that I shot up a bunch of goats. I was just damned lucky that all of you are the fainting kind. I fired that first shot, and you all just fell down. The terrorists were more freaked out about that than me, and that allowed me to kill them all before they killed you or me. I think Q would have been more upset by your deaths."

"It's still going on the record, James that you chose to not share all information on your current location. You are still going to get yelled at, but at least goat slaughterer won't be added to your name or to mine. And no, you cannot bring one home." 

"I wasn't going to want to bring one home. It would not do well in the flat, no matter what we did to it."

"And the lizard?"

"We have a plenty big enough habitat for it, and it chomped onto my enemy, and that allowed me to kill him. He deserves to live in a wonderful habitat that is more to the style of a king than a dingy rain forest."

"He was happy in the rain forest."

"And he's happy in the flat, and he doesn't have to work to eat anymore."

Q knew that it was an old fight, but at this point in time, it wasn't the point of anything at all but instead it was more that James was alive to fight with him. Even if he was still sitting on the ground surrounded by a bunch of goats. 

"Hey, how did you get this back on?"

"It's a program I've been working on to see if I could force one to turn back. It's become a horrible habit, but at least for the most part you've stopped just breaking them. So I have been playing. It took a little longer as I forgot I had upgraded the one that I sent out with you and I had to hack a few extra things." 

"So I need to start to dump them again?"

"No. I will only hack when it's needed, and this time, I didn't have eyes on you." Q closed down the program that recorded the visual after James started to stand up. A clean-up crew would be needed, but as James was on American soil with the CIA and FBI agreeance, Q figured that they could clean up the mess since the terrorists were homegrown and they had needed MI6 to break the ring. 

"I'll be home as soon as possible."

"I have the perfect picture for my new screensaver. I can't wait until I show you," Q said before James turned off the comm again. 

James looked up at the sky with an almost perfect look right into where the satellite was looking at him from, and he glared. Q just laughed. James would get him for this, but those nights were always fun.

# The End

**Author's Note:**

> I write fanfiction for fun. It's a hobby and a stress relief. I refuse to stress over my writing. What you see is what you get. Errors, plot holes, and all. Thank you for reading my story! 
> 
> I can be found on MeWe (a FB replacement that's better) [here](https://mewe.com/i/beccaqueen1), join me there and we can discuss my fics and whatnot. My writing page for the moment is kind of dead in the water on a FB front as links are being banned for content.


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